


Caught up in the waves

by ahone



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, If you want - Freeform, Light Angst, One Shot, Platonic Relationships, Road Trips, Short One Shot, can be seen as romantic if you want too, depression isn't mentioned but be careful still!, i guess??, i'm going to pretend i wasn't listening to lovememore. on loop while posting this, i'm sorry i really don't know how to tag, seventeen aren't mentioned, uhh this can be seen as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26010133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahone/pseuds/ahone
Summary: Chan simply doesn't have time to worry about himself. Hansol does though.Tears, a car and the ocean are involved.
Relationships: Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Chan | Dino
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Caught up in the waves

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh hi !  
> This has been going around my mind for a little while so i finally tried to put it all into nice sentences with proper punctuation. I've been feeling kinda sad lately so this is my way of venting apparently. I'm pretty sure none of it makes sense.  
> Also the lack of content for dino and vernon here is unfortunate and you know what they say : create the content you wanna see! so i'll be doing just that.  
> (also idek if vernon has his driver's license but eh who cares)
> 
> I really hope you like it ! Enjoy~

Chan was usually good at handling things on his own, especially his negative thoughts. His drive and passion so overwhelming, it overshadowed everything else. He simply didn’t have the time to worry about this stuff. 

Lately though, he could feel himself grow tense and unmotivated. It felt like an invisible pair of arms was holding him back, stopping him from moving forward. From getting out of bed in the morning to simply make himself some food, every little thing felt draining. The sudden lack of motivation led to the steady increase of his stress and his mood was getting worse every day. 

He found temporary relief in dancing alone for hours on end and tiring his body out, but that didn't really help with his overall state. He felt exhaustion deep in his bones while also feeling like he was spending his time sleeping. His mind and body felt heavy and Chan was starting to distance himself from the people around him, not having the energy to engage in conversations. And he noticed it, of course he did. The worried glances, the questioning looks. They were frustrating, Chan was okay. Since it was late winter, he probably just had to take his vitamins more regularly, that’s all. 

He'd start tomorrow though. 

That evening, everyone was gone but Chan was still practicing, loosing himself in music once again. Welcoming the almost comforting burn in his muscles, he was refining his latest choreography. To anyone watching, the choreography was close to perfect; Chan’s movements were sharp and confident. Chan, however, was growing more and more frustrated. With a deep frown, he was staring at his reflection in the big mirror that took up the entire wall, critical of every little detail. His hands’ placements, his speed, his posture, nothing seemed to be good enough to satisfy Chan’s need for perfection. Sweat was getting in his eyes, drops trickling down his face, down his neck. 

That one evening is when the fight happened. He can’t really remember how though, everything happened in a blur. All he knows is that Hansol came in with drinks and insisted they went home together because it was late and Chan was probably tired and he shouldn’t overwork himself, he could come back tomorrow. Chan refused, of course. Said he was okay, another hour won’t hurt.

He remembers getting up and starting the music again. He remembers trying to ignore Hansol’s burning stare, knowing damn well he has been avoiding him lately and while the older was patient, he had his limits too. Chan’s attitude was a problem that needed fixing. The younger started to dance again but the blasting music was cut off. And something ticked inside Chan.

So he argued, a bit ruder that he would have liked to, but weariness made his brain fuzzy and his eyes sting. Hansol fought back, because he cared. Chan knew this of course but he needed Hansol to give up and let him be, just this time. He found himself yelling things he didn’t really mean, because his brain to mouth filter was fucked. And why couldn’t Hansol just try and understand that it was important, that he had to make this perfect?

Hansol was never really one to fight, he's more the type to try and calm things down, to talk things out and deescalate situations.

That’s why this time around, when he got angry, it hurt and it hurt and it hurt so much but Chan is stubborn and proud so he didn’t say anything. He only looked back at the other boy and saw something he couldn’t put a finger on that settled deep at the bottom of his chest.

Hansol looked exhausted and it was not really anger Chan saw, which would have made things easier. No, his best friend's gaze was searching for something, something Chan couldn’t seem to provide right now. Oh how he would have loved to give everything to take that look which was too close to disappointment off of Hansol’s face. The thought stung him back to reality and Chan was feeling all too vulnerable suddenly. It made his skin crawl and his fingers tingle. He could only think of getting away from this situation.

And so, as rarely as it happens, Lee Chan fled. He didn’t run; took the time to pack his things before leaving even. But he fled, still. And as he stepped out of the room, not looking back once, fatigue washed over him, all the tension built up in the practice room leaving him. The dull ache inside is chest was there though, and it was still there when he slipped under his covers and tried his best to turn off his brain. 

He fell asleep to the thought of Hansol’s silence when he left the practice room.

Everyone was busy around him but Chan wasn’t paying attention. He was staring at Hansol from across the room. Things were okay between them, almost too normal. It wasn’t their first fight and wouldn’t be their last. But it felt different, and Chan had his guard up, he was quieter around the older. They never really mentioned the incident after that night. It confused Chan a bit- the way things went back to normal so quickly. He found that it hurt a little, too. He knew that Hansol wasn't one to bottle his feelings up. If he had something to say, he would have said it already. Did he just give up on trying to help Chan? Did Chan need help? Deserved it? Did Hansol even remember their fight? Chan didn’t even apologize and wasn’t sure how he was supposed to. Yet Hansol didn’t seem to want an apology. A storm of thoughts was taking over Chan’s mind as his gaze met with the other's. 

A small smile, almost shy, made its way on Hansol’s face. Chan opted to look at his feet, unable to shake his awkwardness. 

Things didn't change for a while. Chan tried to forget about the incident and went back to his dull routine.

Spring soon came around with its flowers in bloom and warm afternoons. The sunnier days seemed to make Chan feel better but his melancholy lingered. He kept himself busy and was still spending most of his nights in the practice room, dancing long past dawn when possible.

They were walking outside, breathing in the chill air of the night, bags of groceries dangling from their hands. Hansol was humming a song. Things were fine, almost. They went back to their regular interactions and bickering. Chan could feel the shift between them though, the things left unsaid, the unresolved hurt. However, he didn’t know how to fix it, nor did he really try. He convinced himself that if he never mentioned it, it would simply go away. As far as he could tell, it had worked. But he happened to catch Hansol’s gaze sometimes, and he didn’t know if he was overthinking it but the other man seemed to look at him a lot lately. He was very concentrated on the concrete below his feet when Hansol interrupted his thoughts:

“We are both free this week-end so I was thinking maybe… maybe we could go on a trip together?”

The question didn’t really register in his brain and Chan frowned, confused. 

“Huh?  
\- I said- I thought we could hang out this week-end and like… go on a trip.  
\- Oh, Chan nodded, his eyebrows shot up, trying to reach his hairline. Yeah. Yeah, sure.  
\- Good.”

Chan didn’t miss the lopsided smile on Hansol’s face. He felt his chest grow lighter as they made their way back. Things would be fine.

Chan was sitting in the passenger seat, feeling tense but unable to hide his excitement.

“So where are we going?”

Hansol looked at him, thinking.

“You’ll see.  
\- Are you really not going to tell me? You know I can be annoying.  
\- Nope. And yeah, I know.”

Hansol had this playful gummy smile on his lips, the one that reached his eyes. Chan decided to leave it at that. He realized he didn’t really care to know where they were going.

They stopped at a gas station to eat and stretch. According to Hansol, their destination wasn’t that far, but they forgot to bring snacks with them and Chan’s stomach had been growling since they left.

Back inside the car, Hansol didn’t start the vehicle and Chan saw him fiddling with his hands. He was nervous. The younger instinctively looked at his own hands, waiting. One, two, three deep breaths. Hansol looked up:

“Shall we go?”

Chan smiled, feeling somewhat relieved. He fell asleep ten minutes after they left the gas station.

The sun was setting when Hansol eventually parked the car and woke Chan up. Chan looked outside and hurried out of the car. Hansol followed him calmly.

“Wow this is beautiful.”

They were looking at the sea, orange waves crashing on the sand. The sun was about to disappear below the horizon and Chan found himself captivated by the clouds above his head. Faded blues contrasting with deep reds and pinks. It really was beautiful. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, bending over the concrete fence.

After grabbing coffee from a nearby shop, they sat down, back against the fence, toes deep in the sand. Hansol was humming a song Chan didn’t know. He hadn’t felt this serene in a very long time, and allowed himself to bask in the fresh salty breeze and the presence of his friend right by his side. Stars began to prickle the now dark bluish sky. He noticed Hansol stopped singing when he shifted next to him.

“We never really talked about our last fight.”

Oh. Chan probably knew this was coming but it still felt unexpected. He hadn’t prepared himself for this conversation yet, despite all the thinking he had been doing. Hansol continued:

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a while. I’ve been worried, you know.”

Chan heard him swallow. He cringed at the awkwardness of the situation. Heart to heart conversations weren’t something they really did.

“You push yourself too much. And I- I admire that about you. Your strength, your stubbornness, how you give everything you have for the things you want to achieve.”

Chan could only look- which he seemed to be doing an awful lot of lately. But it was like Hansol was actively messing up his brain, causing too many thoughts to flow through Chan’s head while leaving him unable to form any coherent thought at all.

“But you don’t have to be alone. You have friends, you have me. I want to help you when I can, but you have to let me, Chan.”

Chan looked down. Shame settled deep in his stomach. He didn’t mean to push him away. In fact, it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. But he was tired and he couldn’t always make the best decisions and he wasn’t even sure how to ask for help and he was so so tired. Hansol continued :

“I’m sorry for getting angry and for not expressing my worries sooner-  
\- Please don’t- don’t apologize. I was wrong. I should have trusted you and I shouldn’t have yelled at you, or- or said the things I said. I never want to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Chan breathed and it never felt easier to let go of his pride for a bit. He only noticed the tears flowing down his cheeks when he met Hansol’s worried gaze. He sniffled and rubbed his face into his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, he said again with a weak laugh.  
\- It’s okay.”

Hansol patted his head, rearranging a few strands of hair.

They kept looking at the dark grey waves and Chan decided he could stay like this forever. He was just sitting there, half lidded eyes but all too aware of the body right next to him. How he was humming a soft tune again, how their arms were touching and how Hansol had taken Chan’s hand in his and began tracing uninspired shapes on his palm. The world had seemed to pause and Chan thought the tenderness of it all could make his heart burst.

Sometimes Hansol felt a little far away, in his own head, lost in thought, but in this moment he felt like an anchor Chan was too afraid to let go of.

“It feels good to be here, like this.” 

Chan was surprised at his own words. But he knew he could say and share anything he’d like right now; Hansol and the sea would listen. Expecting a response from his friend that wasn’t coming, he looked at him and saw the older tapping on his phone. Chan lightly shoved Hansol’s shoulder.

“Hey we're having a moment there and you're on your phone texting?  
\- Yeah what about it?”

Chan repeated the english sentence and gave a second shove to his best friend’s shoulder, an easy laugh bubbling up. He felt light; something about the ocean air made things seem so easy and comfortable. Chan rested his forehead on Hansol’s shoulder and suppressed a yawn. He was mindlessly squeezing the older’s arm and felt himself drowse off. Guess he really needed to catch up on sleep. Hansol softly shook his shoulder.

“Hey let’s sleep in the car, you’re going to hurt your back.”

Chan hummed, letting himself be handled back on his feet and to the car. He used his last bit of consciousness to squeeze his friend’s hand, hoping to convey genuine appreciation. He felt the arm around him tighten and Chan's heart jumped against his ribs.

When he woke up, the sun was making its lazy way up the sky, its rays painting pale pinks and purples on the sand and water below. His phone was ringing. Chan went outside the car and made his way towards the fence separating the concrete from the beach below, hesitated a moment before finally picking up.

"Hello? Mom?"

Inside the car, Hansol stirred, peeling his eyes open long enough to catch Chan’s back a few meters away from the car, before closing them again. When he woke up, Chan was just getting into the passenger seat, red around the eyes and a heavy sigh escaping his lips. 

“- I just had my mom on the phone  
\- Mh.  
\- It was nice hearing from her.  
\- It’s been quite a while, right.  
\- Yeah.”

Chan let his head fall again the headrest. They stayed like this in silence for a few minutes, Hansol then flicked Chan on the neck.

“Let’s go home, alright?”

Chan looked at him, a small smile on his lips and a thousand words stuck in his throat.

He could only nod.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you liked this in the comments!! that would mean a whole lot!


End file.
